life, mental health

Relapse- the elephant in the room of recovery

Today I’ve been moved to talk about a difficult subject. Recovery from anything is difficult and seldom linear, there are potholes in the road and diversions, sometimes it feels like the road has disappeared entirely and you feel utterly lost but soon enough you always find that road again and each time your step is a little stronger and more confident.

Mental health issues are certainly no exception. Recovery isn’t all aromatherapy baths and face masks, it’s relapsing and crying. Sometimes it’s reverting to old, damaging coping strategies. Sometimes you will feel like you are back at your worst and all the effort you put into recovery was a waste.

But the important things to remember is recovery is worth it and unfortunately relapses are a part of recovery.

Sometimes the bravest thing you can do is ask for help.

There is always someone there to listen even when you don’t believe it, if you don’t feel you have anyone you know to turn to then ring a helpline! Contact your doctor, refuse to give up fighting even when you are exhausted and giving up seems the only option.

Because you are strong and you are worth it and there are better times waiting for you just around the corner.

Relapse does not mean you are failing at recovery. It teaches you how to pick your self up, dust yourself down and get back up stronger and more determined than you were before!

Love Lucy

Xxx

life

Recovering to Recovered- the big leap

Since I was 8 I have battled with Anorexia Nervosa.

I am not ashamed of this fact, it’s part of my story which makes me who I am.

Recovery is a long hard slog and I honestly always thought I would be “in recovery” for the rest of my life. So I’m now very surprised to find my self teetering on the precipice of considering myself “recovered”.

I feel like I’m stood on a rocky ledge willing myself to take that final step onto the safe and steady land of full recovery but with the chasm of relapse threatening between me and full recovery.

Anorexia has been part of my identity for most of my life, I’m having to learn who I am with out it.

It’s a scary prospect but also one full of hope and promise.

A big turning point came when we had some family photos taken, I looked at the photos and hated the way my tummy looked, but then I looked again.

Yes it’s not the most flattering angle of my stomach but it’s clearly a Mum’s stomach.

My stomach isn’t wash board flat and toned because it grew and housed my son for 9 months. My body’s function is not to look good. It’s to allow me to live my life to the full and my body did the most amazing thing and created life and for that I will be forever grateful to it.

I still don’t like my body, I still don’t like the fact that I have gained weight and I still fear gaining more but I refuse to let Anorexia dominate my life any longer.

I’m not quite there yet but hopefully one day soon I will be able to confidently say I am fully recovered from Anorexia.

But until that day I’m still grateful that I’m far closer to recovered than I ever dreamed was possible.

Love Lucy

Xxx